I drink therefore I am, I’m drunk therefore I was.

Are the upper crust just a lot of crumbs sticking together?

Does the ‘lateral coital position’ mean having a bit on the side?

Father Christmas comes but once a year. Thank God I’m not Father Christmas.

Life is like a movie; it important to watch the screen!

Put the anal back into analysis.

But for venetian blinds it would be curtains for all of us.

In the beginning was the word and the word was Aardvark.

Nothing cures a headache faster then Anadin. So take nothing then.

I wanted to be a judge but I found out that my mum and dad were married.

All the big women die young, That’s why we are left with little old ladies.

Is a tramp with no legs a low down dirty bum?

Dada wouldn’t buy me a Bauhaus.

Rizla skins roll OK.

Anti social diseases are a sore point.

Existentialism has no future.

Love makes the world go down!

Just think, the Joneses might be trying to keep up with you!

In the stronghold of women I plan an uprising.

Don’t let the fatherless children get you down.

Is Hertz Van Rental a Dutch painter?

Is an aspiration a donkey from Persia?

Where there is a will there will be a relative!

If music be the food of love,I need a retune.

You only rent beer.So cut out the middleman and pour it straight down the toilet.

Just when you get your head above the shit of life some bastard comes along and stands on it!

Some men prefer women with short legs.Some prefer long legs.I prefer something in-between.

A man who loves himself as not many rivals.

Marriage is a love/hate relationship where the love has died.

Business is made up of those that do and those that let them do.

Knowledge is like gold,always keep some in reserve!

Only people with the constitutions of custard get upset over trifles.

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